The Hot and Cold Game: A foreplay episode

Envision, Fire! Heat, trapped in a container swelling approaching combustion! Or a huge pot of scorching scalding hot boiling water, overflowing the top. That’s what it resembles. Taking a great ball of agitated energy and commanding it to lay motionless for a period, in this case a cataclysm of Lust. Imagine an intimate encounter that gestures time to stand still. Brain chemicals release infecting the furthest extremites of your limbs. More than a rush, more than a sensation, a continued flow, a sustained cultivation of exhilaration. It’s a passage on the road of ecstasy leading up to the gates of intercourse.

Do you cherish the intimate moments shared with your lover? That quality time strengthens your relationship!  Do you try to send planets in orbit when you kiss your lover! Im talking about demonstrating lover’s delight with real adoration. Is there a special someone that you’re ready to take it to the next level with? Well, there’s a fun little game I like to play.

This game may not be for everyone. So ask yourself first, do you?

  • Believe in the Art of Making Love (oh it is an art!). As in savoring the moment. Aiming to please.
  • Take pride in connecting with your lover.
  • Appreciate and understand the subtleties of lovemaking and why it’s sometimes the small things that can set you apart.
  • Love to Kiss!
  • Believes that great foreplay is a perfect precursor for orgasmic sex.

If this describes you then welcome to the realm of Passion. That electricity that can be felt when you touch someone. Watch them reflect your intent and energy, and say ‘Take it”. Lol. Passion is contagious, it’s endeared and reciprocated. Kissing games and sex games make great jumpstarts for it. So there’s this sexy amusement, I like to call it the hot and cold game. There’s all sorts of variations, lots of different activities, that’s the fun it, looking them up seeking them out.

The point of this contest is to make your lover SIZZLE! It can definitely lead to the tipping point where you both go all in. Evil grin.

As you read, try to “sense” what I’m saying. Picture yourself in the moment going through similar motions, experiencing the aura created.

The ambience is comfortable, relaxed, and tranquil. It should be conducive to undistracted focus without fear of interruption. The lighting, perhaps candle light, your choice as long as you can still see each other. For music-lovers, R&B or some other low tempo music playing in the background. No need to go out of your way to make it overly romantic. You are about to create with your own spirit, your own intent, a charming, euphoric vibe. Try sipping on wine or your favorite cocktail; not to get drunk, but to chill, slightly tipsy at most. At this point, there isn’t a care in the world, just you and your sweetheart. You are positioned very close to each other in some cozy manner. Real close eye contact, pupil close. You’ll want to be looking into your partners eyes for longer periods than normal. Its apart of the bonding.

If you’ve never done this before I recommend a listen to a song or two, which might aid in helping you get a feel for the sentiment and mindset you want to be in during this session. Listen to the song “I like” by Jeremih, It’s a good example of the feel and pace you want to approach it with. And a just plain cool song.  Songs like”12 play” by Rkelly relate you to the idea of a multi-stage intimate episode, like serving a multi course meal. So there you are, your playmate in front of you, you can feel the Deep energy, the attraction. What’s next?

Mentally get into character, think of yourself as the French Deep Sea Underwater Explorer, Jacques Cousteau on one of his deep sea odysseys.  Leave no stone unturned. But not all at once, you take it at pace, knowing you are on an erogenous zone hunt. Just like when hunting prize, you cant just rush in, you’ll alert the prey. Going straight for the kill is a no no. Start mildly and zone in as the fun progresses. You can take the foreplay as far as you want to go, clothes or no clothes depending on your comfort level and what hot spots you want to target. Being patient is the key, if you wanna win.

So the scene is set. Now you create the mood. Gaze into your companion’s eyes. Give them a look with real immersion, mixed with adoration. Talk to your mate with your eyes, don’t be afraid to express yourself non-verbally too, some things are best said without vocals. Appeal to the intangible, ironic as they may sound in a flesh gratification rendezvous. Say something with your expression like damn, im into you”, look away and then back at your mate, saying phrases like ‘I’m yours’ ‘damn I want you so much right now’ ‘I feel comfortable when I with you’ ‘‘you are all I need’.

Round one, you kiss them, they kiss you back. A delectable kiss, a titillating but brief, yea I know you want more of that kiss. Draw them out with this kiss just a little only. Let them start to get engaged, then stop, suddenly and quickly. Take their lip with you. Haha just kidding. Stroke your lover’s ego. Tell them their lips taste like skittles. “Giving her the right kiss can be a total game changer” says sex coach, Jenna Couture of

So that’s one round. After each one, take a 5 minute break whilst getting vocal with some inquisitive questions like “how does that feel?”, “Is that how you like it? “ This is bonding time. Appeal to your mate’s ego. Tell them when you first saw them what you liked about them. What you were really thinking when you first got to meet them. Tell them some of the sexy things you like about them. Let your pride out the door for now. Get real, tell your mate what turns you on. You’re taking a breather but don’t bore them oh no, keep the topics intimate; you wanna slow down the mood, not kill it. If you aren’t good at talking passionately, maybe read some erotic fiction in between cycles. You can taunt them with dares if you are feeling brave, like “when its my turn next, I dare you to let me pour that hot wax on your…” Keep a level of tension, sexual frustration there, slightly cool off, but don’t put the Passion in the freezer, cus you’re about to heat it right back up in a minute.

Now it’s your turn again. Your mental rolodex spins, should I lick, a kiss, a caress, a stroke, a massage, a grab, a tug, a bite, use one of your most powerful tools, your imagination. Don’t rush, hell no. Breath deep, again, Breath deep. Tongue stroke the outer ear, teasing in circles with your tip, before engulfing the lobe in your chops, slightly nibbling savoring the taste and terrain. Whisper something titillating, “you get me really heated” Your mate lets out an “mmmm”. During intermissions look them in the eyes again, don’t be afraid to stare right into the iris. See if you can catch a glimpse of their souls. Can your see it. What kind of intuition do you pick up? Catch any erotic advice from it? Listen closer. Lol. Now where were we, time to get provocative! Summon your alter ego you should be feeling sexy. Seductively bite your lip, slowly reach behind your beloved’s head, and brush the hair aside to expose the Nape of their neck. Deep inhale, move in to blanket the surface with a slow breeze of thermal exhalation. Follow it with a tongue slither and some exquisite kisses.

Oh yes, you can feel the scene starting to dance with excitement. Stay focused; remember, giving your mate goose bumps means you are right on target. Take your lovers hand, support it facing palm up revealing the wrist. Use your other hand’s index finger and real softly and smoothly make a circular motion right at the bend point, then spiraling out. A few back and forth strokes using just the tips of your fingers can do wonders. It’s all in the hands. Add in some tongue pats, and your lover should have some chills. “Just kissing and touching places you’re not used to will draw extra excitement in the sheets!” relates Jenna Couture in one of her video blogs.

Getting back to the lips, like a smart boxer staying busy on the whole body, working upstairs, downstairs, then back upstairs for the knock out punch. In this long kiss we will savor the sweetness of candy lips and bubble gum tongue. Move in slow. Get in real close. Head tilt, Nose to nose, cheeks pressed. Teasing works great when you’re kissing. Don’t just dive right into a deep kiss, it should be tantalizing. Let’s mesmerize your lover with this long kiss. Have them fully engaged. “This is a highly erotic exchange, in which each lover is almost feasting with animal passion on the mouth of the other. You can really bond as you eat your way into this delicious kiss” tells Anne Hooper, in ‘Guide to the Kamasutra.’ Draw your lover out. Play with the energy back and forth. Take their lips, let them take yours. Tongue is good but not too much, mimic your suitor. Kissing is a conversation mouth to mouth. Hands can roam this time, caressing and exploring. But don’t get too sidetracked with multi-tasking. The priority is the kiss, zoned in. Synonyms for the word tantalize are torment and torture. For example, After your kiss if you were to tell your mate that there’s no sex tonight, and they don’t give you a look of disappointment. You didn’t kiss them right. Don’t really do that, it’s just an illustration.

Rivaling a tennis match. You go, they go, take turns. Cooling off, heating up, subduing the arousal, gradually guiding you to ecstasy. My example is just a start, this amusement can go on for hours, continuing to hit hot spots, behind the knees, her buttocks, inner thighs, breasts, clitoris. Do it right and you’ll be able to cut the sexual tension with a knife. As a matter of fact that’s the whole point, holding back the energy, the build up, the seduction, which at any moment wants to overpower you.

Try to feel what your mate is feeling. Imagine yourself experiencing their pleasure at the exact moment you are administering it. There is no real downtime in a love-making interlude, you are always experiencing either when giving or receiving. “Imagine that every touch you are bestowing on your partner can be felt by you”, Anne Hooper.

This entry is to inspire you to give the attention owed to foreplay, and get creative with erogenous zones. You don’t have to play a game every night with your lover; it will lose its appeal. Just as the John Mayer song says, ‘your body is a wonderland’. Every now and then set time aside for you and your mate to re-explore each other. It adds more dimensions to your sexuality, really making it more fulfilling. So much so, it becomes an highly anticipated precursor for both partners. I know as guys we a lot of time we love to skip the foreplay and get right down to the nitty gritty. This is just one of many games. Add in a Hot spot indicator, perform an act, ask your mate, on a scale of 1-10 how did it feel. A 1 being so so, 10 being OMG!  Take the foreplay as far as you want to go, Find the most unknown provocative spots on your mate’s body. Some lovers wager on who is the first to crack. Crack, as in can’t wait any longer. AarrgrGh!! If you prefer, incorporate some props to rub on the body like feathers, soft fabrics, oils, rollers, condiments etc. but honestly these aren’t prerequisites. Every couple is different. Put your own spin on it.

What activities do you like to play with your mate? Don’t be shy.  Leave a comment, let’s chop it up.

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