“Sex matters. Then you die.”
There’s no room to mince words with this one. I’m obligated to give it to you straight, hard and fast. So listen up, better yet pucker up. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while now. This is that I got to be frank with you, can’t be politically correct cause you might mistaken flow. This is that you should dwell on it for a minute because I’m not just saying this to be provocative flow. This is that we’re all grown folks, we’re like family, if its too strong for you sit at the kids table at thanksgiving flow.
Enough jabbering lets get to it.
Those who have read some of my blogs know this is nothing new to us. We’ve talked about how relationship sex can fall into a rut and become lack luster in “What is Passion?” We discussed the whole mentality that births great sex sessions in entries like “Sex Brain”. So recently when I came across a well written very pointient article from online web mag, ‘Elite Daily’, I was charmed. While I consumed the paragraphs, some sentences began to resonate in my spirit and helped me frame up an issue,
“According to Jennifer Abbasi of Live Science, while men tend to maintain a constant passion for sex, women lose interest over time…She continued to add that another component that factors into a decrease of sexual desire is the transition from passionate love to compassionate love, which typically comes with committed relationships and time.” – , ‘The Science Behind Why It’s So Hard To Sleep With The Same Person Forever’, Dan Scotti
So here’s where I come in. This time we will sum it up with 5 Actions that will ensure you are performing up to par. Sum up what? Fucking. Not compassionate sex. Not that overly sensitive, emotional reassuring blah blah blah, that over time decreases your mate’s arousal and interest. We put it out there, lay it on the line, that nasty, freaky stimulating, yeah we’re human but we’re also part animal, straight Fucking. A genre of sex that every couple should periodically pull out of their repertoire. See the problem with alot of relationship articles, advice, and bedroom suggestions is they lack the gritty, up in your face, making you feel uncomfortable, profoundness needed. They don’t pack a punch! Probably why you can smell the bs from a mile away. They over-articulate everything cookie cutter, Hollywood movie style perfect plot perfect ending. Perfectly predictable! Pshh, forget that. That’s not how it is in real life. In real life there’s all kinds of angles on everything, no pun intended. Trust me, nobody’s going to tell you the truth like I’m going to tell you the truth!
First lets set precedent, Some of yall have big mouths. That’s right talk too much about your personal relationships and households to people who have no right of being privy to that information. What you do with your significant other in your sex life IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS. I mean however you bond, what you do to make it work is between you and them. Not between you and your mother, your pastor, your friends, your coworkers. Quite frankly it’s none of their business. That’s for the record. Now, Welcome to FUCKING 101.
Don’t convolute Quality Time– Leave all that other shit outside. Whatever obstacles or challenges you two may be going through. It’s time out on that shit. Don’t come in the lover’s quarters with an attitude, salty because you didn’t get your way about something. Scrr, wait back up… that is unless it makes the sex better. Some of you sex deviates like fighting for the build up. Lol. Back to the topic. This isn’t time for multitasking, unless it’s with your hands. We don’t need last week’s resentments and other issues convoluting things and fucking up this good sex. This is, lustful, adrenalizing, orgasmic gratification. Act like for the moment the outside world doesn’t exist. Only wet hungry kitty and hard enthusiastic dick.
…and yes that’s exactly what I would call it. Whomever told you sex is not that important in a relationship lied to you, stop listening to them. Learn to view Fucking as quality time and see if you don’t appreciate the hell out of your lover.
Let them Take it (whenever wherever whatever)- Accommodate your other half as much as you can. In the bathroom at your sister’s house, in the car, on the beach, in the elevator, in the woods on that camping trip, on that flight, at the office, in the backyard at the boring dinner social. (yeah I know it sounds juvenile, but I bet your love life wont be mundane). The beautiful thing about fucking is you don’t have to plan it out, it can just happen when it wants to happen. So naughty so exhilarating. Zone in, focus. Take it.
Be a Giver– “Arousing you, arouses me” –Lustful Poet. Aim to please. Let me say that again, you might have missed it. You aim to please! Be your partner’s best kept secret. Your over generosity won’t go unappreciated. Inside of all you is a sex god/ sex goddess. Act like you know that and fuckin unleash it. If you already love it. Then maintain, don’t allow your fulfilling sex life to be sex-shamed.
Talk Dirty– Practice practice practice. It makes perfect. Tell them straight up what the fuck you want done to you. Vocalize your desires with your partner. Nothing gets your juices flowing like some good dirty talk dialogue. Expletives can help get your point across. Use the sex brain of your alter-ego. When you’re on the receiving in, cheer them on, tell them how good it feels. If you’re not good at it. Practice. Keep doing it. And it’s not all about what you say, It’s more how you say it. Say it emphatically! “Uuuu baby!” “Fuck me!”
Be your lover’s personal Porn Star-You are the king or queen of this castle, don’t be the reason for it being invaded by intruders cause you didn’t do all that you could. THIS IS YOUR DOMAIN. Show them you are a committed motivated object of desire. Your partners sexual needs is your responsibility, with pleasure! Do the extra’s. If you view it more as an obligation than a privilege then you’ve got bigger issues than not fucking. Otherwise, Get inside their brain. Know all of their deepest darkest secrets and desires. Don’t be afraid to explore, keeping an open mind is a must. Appease, appease, appease, if its thigh high’s and garters, Do it. If it’s Face down ass up. Do it. If she wants a foot massage, Do it. If it’s tantalizing foreplay, do it. Romantic dinner do it, Dancing, Do it. If it’s oral sex, Do it well. Their favorite spots, find it and Work it.Whatever the job calls for. Live out your fantasies with your mate. Smart partners do!
Mix it up like a table of delectable goodies. A good ol fashioned fucking session every now and then is a requirement. It should be craved. And now my conscience is clear because I’ve told you. Thank you for signing up for Fucking 101, class dismissed.
Freek N’ You- Jodeci
Be my little freak- Usher
PDA- John Legend