Sexting- 21st Century Love Notes

When there is no mental stimulation, there is no sexual stimulation- Zara Barrie

He hears the car door shut, the cluck of heels, then keys in the door. Wifey’s home with a greedy blazon look in her eyes. It’s time to play! Tossing her things to the console she leaps at him full straddle! The momentum pinning him to the floor. She slides her lace Vickie’s to the side and slips him inside her. It’s moist and pleasantly ignited. Clinching her thighs she pulls him in strong. And right there proceeds to give him the ride of his life. With each gyrated movement he feels the streaming tickle of her G-spot. He picks her up colliding her mildly against the wall, fingernails in his back he thrusts deep to a wet finish. She kisses I love you as they both explode.

Exquisite. Sounds like a hot new couple still infatuated doesn’t it? But nope they’ve been together for many years, had the ‘goods’ thousands of times. So why all the theatrics? That’s just how they roll. Mastered the art of sexting and they use it from time to time. You see, the plot for this lil episode started formulating 7 hours earlier, with his text.

Wait, you said art to Sexting? Yep ….Really now. I’ll enlighten you. Not to be confused with crudely sending ‘nudes’ pics. No dic pics. Eww! We can do a lot better than that to heat up the oven. As a matter of fact it’s not about sending visuals of any kind. The “Art” is in having your partner paint the picture in their OWN mind. With your help of course, just using words. A dialogue dance of sorts. And when done right few things can inspire like it!

Sexting is premium fuel for high octane couples. The adventurous type. If your engine can’t handle the rpms, then don’t rev it up.

I wise man once said ‘creativity is intelligence having fun.’ That’s just it, sexting is the Thrill of the imagination. Until the mid 1970’s it was believed women didn’t have sexual fantasies. Obviously they wrong. “Let the records show that women enjoy sex just as much as men…If you’ve ever had a sexy thought pop into your head that flushed your cheeks and made you shift in your seat, know that it probably wasn’t that crazy at all. Always kinky and sometimes uncontrollable, sexual fantasies are far more common than you think.” –Alexia LaFata

“You two are playful, you’re too playful. You always playing. What other couples do you never worrying. Sending sexually charged words of passion taunting your partner’s enthusiasm. How bad you want it?”

“Get weird with her in the bedroom…Indulge her fantasies, and she’ll indulge yours. If you can get freaky in the sheets, it shows how much confidence you have in each other.”  -Gigi Engle, 24 Simple, Quirky Things A Guy Can Do To Make His Girl Completely Melt, Elite Daily. Sexting is a fine opportunity to do just that, get weird, naughtily weird. If timid to get graphic try first using allegories or symbols, sort of code that only you two understand. The beauty of technology it transcends space and time. If separated by distance, a much need bonding session can happen via text with a few sincere words. Expose your vulnerability. Confess your longing.

It doesn’t hurt to try something new;

Him: Damn I miss u!

Her: I know me too!

Him: You know what I was thinking about the other day?

Her: what?

Him: That time you did that thing in your sister’s mini van

Her: mmm. You liked that did you?

Him: oh yes!

Her: I could tell you did.

Him: hehe. Babe youre a lil freak!

Her: Are you complaing?

Him: Noooooo! I luv it

Her: you want me to do it again later

Him: Yaasss!!!

Her What are you going to do for me? Or should I say to me. Lol

Him: AHH don’t worry! I got something special planned for you. 😉

Her: Can’t wait

Him: babe you’re freaky! lol

Her: Yea you love my freaky ass!


It’s a 21st century foreplay platform. It’s the beginning that leads to the end. The most underrated aspect of our sexual dynamics I think. We should take heed; “We want to be seduced… Stimulating the mind stimulates our sexuality with a fiercer, longer-lasting intensity…Give us a subtle taste of your mystical sexual prowess and then viciously pull away…we love to be tortured.” –Zara Barrie

Who wouldn’t want to supercharge the romance? Adding a component for those who struggle with all-too-brief physical performances. Putting the power at your fingertips for  a longer and deeper sexual experience with your mate. Don’t be believe it? “At Rutgers University, researchers interested in the connection between the brain and sex placed her in an MRI machine…They found the parts of the brain that are most active during orgasm lit up when she climaxed…there is actual evidence that the brain alone can produce an orgasm without physical stimulation.” –John Haltiwanger, ‘Having an orgasm has more to do with your brain than your body’,

Step through the doors of your private fantasy world.

As a matter of fact it’s not about sending visual aids of any kind. The “Art” is in having your partner paint the picture in their OWN mind. A live interactive movie and you’re the star. You’re the writer/director. Add twists & turns, no set path no boundaries just flow with it. See where it takes you. How creative can you get? The more descriptive the better. Get them to FEEL every move every touch as if you are right in front of them. Phase out of everything else. Zone into your words zone into your escalation.

Your objective construct the atmosphere for this session. Not just in your mind but in your partners. Get what’s in your head into theirs. Get them in full participation. Then get what’s in their head into yours. Its quite fun! You can build a fantasy together or you could be reliving something spectacular you two have already done. Make it a role play exercise if you dare, via text.

You know you’ve got it right when your heart is thumping as you text. They will feel it.

With lead in questions and statements you begin to set the mood. ….I miss you…what are you wearing…I need you…how was your day?…what happened?. You want them relaxed and if they’re a newbie, off guard. Like a set up, a sales pitch, ABC (always be closing) from the beginning you are already smoothly maneuvering your text-versation for the end result, a fire lit under that a#*! If you do it right they won’t even see it coming and if they do they won’t mind. Why? Because its quite fun! As the temp builds you begin to explore more.

5 Easy Steps

  1. Wet the pallete with lead in questions- Simpler questions inquisitive questions that engage. No rush. No rush, only as fast as your partner chooses. One step back two steps forward if need be.
  1. Share your visions- Start as expressing your intimate thoughts in a candid non-ulterior manner. It’s you being you. Who can judge you for being honest?
  1. Listen to the replies- Be a Great listener. Utilize their replies as you start to explore what’s in their vision. Are you two on the same page, are they following you or are they remaining coy.
  1. Nurture the replies- Encourage your mate. Let em know you’re enjoying their participation. Urge them on! Now joining their vision with input of your own increasing naughty intent, a little more deviant, sink your teeth in. Back and forth you’re rallying now!
  1. Navigate the episode- Bring it on home. Guide the engagement to a pinnacle. Imagination at its heights. Don’t hold back. Non judgement here. Ultimate comfort with your confidant. Gratification centered revelations.

Add sexting to your bag of goodies. Whenever the sexual tension needs a lil jumpstart. Bam! You don’t even have to be in a frisky mood when you start. Another wise man once said ‘love the action can precede love the emotion.’ It’s the same with intimate appetite. By the end of a [naughty] texting session you will be good and ready!

Consider it your own personal can of lighter fluid. You see we expect things like love, passion, the joy to automatically replenish itself, that why when they run out we are confused. But it takes work you have to manually refill, like a bank account you cant keep withdrawing without periodically making deposits. Sexting is passion deposits!

Master it. Practice it. Make sure it’s potent. You know you’ve got it right when your heart is thumping as you text. They will feel it.

Sexting is mental foreplay. Releasing brain chemicals with the power to trigger hormones. Allowing naughty texts to bounce around your medulla oblongata can start a fire that needs to be put out, just like our couple in the intro. An increased high rate during lunch. Hot flashes in the middle of a meeting. So let it seep in. “One might say the orgasm both begins and ends in the brain.” –John Haltiwanger.



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